Unexplainable
by felicitytorres
Summary: Character study of Michael thoughts after their ordeal was over and done with. Maybe part of a series. Slashy... beware.
1. Unexplainable

**A/N: **Spoiler Alert** Do not read the end note if you have not seen the ending of the series. Just a little character study work on Michael. AU**

He doesn't know why he came. Hell, thats not true, he knows why. He had to see him. He's been on his mind ever since him and Sarah parted a couple of months ago. But to just show up un-announced, it's not like him and Alex had that sort of friendship. Hell, its not even a friendship. Still after all this time he can not define what it is between him and Alex. He's not an enemy, at least not any more. He's not quite a friend, yet he's more than a friend. He and Sucre, well yeah, that's a friend. But him and Alex, it's something more. It's more complex, messy, involved and powerful. It's so overpowering that he had to see him. Not by choice, not by whim, but by necessity.

Somehow along the way Alex has become a part of him. Being away from him all these months has been difficult. He didn't realize how much he had wormed his way into his life. It's not everyday you meet someone who really gets you. I mean **really **gets you. Someone who can practically read your mind, someone who knows what makes you tick. Sarah was a kind and caring woman, but she didn't get it, at least not all of it. Alex, well he got it, all of it. He has to have someone like that be a part of his life. But, he just doesn't know in what capacity. What is Alex to him? Is he the brother he wish he had, that understood him? Or is he the father figure he so desperately lacked? Or is he something entirely different? Something so scary and unthinkable that he can't bring himself to actually form that idea. He would rather bury that feeling. But it is quite telling that he decided to come to Alex after he broke up with Sarah. Why was that a requirement before visiting him? He doesn't want to think about that. The only thing he is focusing on right now is getting the guts to knock on that door.

'Come on, you can do this', he says to himself. And with a deep breathe, he knocks.

**End Note: *spoiler* This is written in an alternate universe where Sarah doesn't get pregnant and Michael doesn't die. I always hated that ending. I may continue this by writing a sequel of Alex's thought. Maybe... **


	2. Recognizable

**A/N: Well, here are some of Alex's thoughts while Michael waits on the doorstep. Beware could be some spoilers if you haven't watched the whole series. **

Alex hears a knock at the door. 'Who could it be? I'm not expecting anyone.'

He goes to the door and looks out the peep hole and sees him.

'It's Michael. How? Why is he here?' he whispers to himself.

Maybe something terrible has happened. Maybe he needs my help. I thought I wouldn't see him again. After we got our immunity from Kellerman and went our separate ways, I thought that was it. Sure we had left each other as allies, not enemies but it was still something blocking our relationship, something that was keeping us at arms length. Our past history was checkered to say the least. But our time in Sona mended some of those wounds. We worked together there, albeit reluctantly at first but none the less we forged a tentative friendship. It seemed after Sona that it was others opinions and outside forces keeping us away from each other. Linc hated me. Rightfully so, but his feelings kept me and Michael from forming the friendship that we could have had.

It was always something so intriguing about Michael. His brilliant mind captivated me, and I think my own intellect kept him on his toes, and he respected that. I seemed to figure him out even stoned out of my mind, imagine what I could do stone cold sober. He never said it, but I knew he was impressed. It was like I found a kindred spirit, but through some cruel joke of nature we were pitted against each other on opposite sides. Something was always tearing us apart. If it wasn't the company, it was Linc, or unfortunately Sarah.

Sarah. Just her presence was a force that tore at us. I think I realized that my feeling for Michael were borderline obessive during my stay at Sona. I was going through withdrawal and hurting emotionallly and physically, but through it all my saving grace was Michael. I looked to him to save me from the hell I was going through, and he did eventually. There were some bumps along the way, but he did it. I was in awe of him. I felt so honored to be a part of his plan, to be a part of anything even connected to him. When the mention of Sarah's name would come up I always felt a twinge of jealousy. Why her? Why did she get his affection? Why does he care so much about her? Why does she get that privilege? I know it was insane to think like that. Maybe it was the drugs or the withdrawal making me have these delusions of something more between me and Michael. Maybe I was crazy from the heat, but I could have sworn there was a undercurrent of emotions between he and I. Now he's at my doorstep, wanting...only God knows what. But whatever it is, I'm sure to give it to him. I can't deny him even if I wanted to.

Pulling the door open with a long sigh,

"Hello, Michael."


	3. Unstoppable

****I'm so sorry, for those who were reading this story. I had a MAJOR case of writer's block. I could not for the life of me come up with anything I liked to continue this story. I don't like putting out crappy material so I wait to be inspired. So this is it. Sorry for the wait.**

"Alex"

"It's been a long time."

*sigh* "Yeah, it has. Can I come in?"

"Of course." Alex stepped out of the way to let Michael in. A small little beagle dog came rushing his way.

"Ruff, ruff". Michael bent down to pet the dog.

"Hey, who's this little guy?", he said while scratching his ears.

"His name is Skipper. He's my watch dog."

"Skipper huh. He's a little small for the typical watch dog."

"Ok you caught me." Alex smiled. "He keeps me company. It gets lonely here sometimes."

"Have a seat. Would you like a drink?"

"Water would be nice, thank you."

"Coming up."

Michael sat down on the couch his nerves resurfacing. He thought to himself maybe this was a bad idea. He should have called first, or at least came up with some sort of excuse for coming.

Alex comes back with the water bottles. "So to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit."

"Hmm, Pleasure. That's not the usual term you would use to describe a visit from me."

"Well, we've come a long way from those days, don't you think? Otherwise you wouldn't be here.

"Ah, touche`.

"So what brings you by?"

Michael pauses for a moment to think of something believable but nothing he could think of was better than the truth. "Umm... well honestly you've been on my mind lately. I just wanted to catch up and visit."

Alex regarded him inquisitively. He gave a chuckle.

"Really. Wow. I never would have thought you'd admit to missing me.

"I never said I _missed _you. I said..."

"Yeah you did. In your on ambiguous Michael way,... you did.

Michael looked down, thinking of an excuse to leave.

"I'm glad you did. Come to me, that is. I dont think I have the energy anymore to chase after you."

Michael's head popped up, brows creased with curiousity. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that through the course of this "relationship" for lack of a better word, I've spent the bulk of it chasing after you in some sort of capacity. I'm glad you came after _me _for a change, and for the record... I've missed you like crazy."

Michael's eyes grew wide with surprise, blood racing through his veins. He felt like a deer caught in headlights. 'This is going to be one hell of a visit', he thought to himself.

Alex stared back at him, a sincere look upon his face. "What? You look surprised. What did you think, I was going to bullshit about my feelings or something?"

Michael stood up and paced the floor, then spoke "Why do you make things sound like I'm here for ulterior motives, I'm just here for a friendly visit. It seems like your minds in other places."

"Michael, I'm not your friend. You want a friendly visit, you should have went to see Sucre."

Michael look at him bewildered. He wasn't sure he was ready for this conversation.

"Look Michael, I appreciate the visit, really I do. But we should both know by now that life is too short and fragile to spend it bullshitting and tap dancing around issues. So I tell you what. Let's just end this visit now, and you come back when you're ready to face some things, how about that?"

Alex rose up from the couch. "I think you can see yourself back out."

Anger rose up in Michael. He hadn't felt this frustrated and mad in a long time, he turned and stormed to the door. "This was a mistake."

He reached the door and was about to turn the handle, then froze. He took a deep breathe closed his eyes and banged his head upon the door.

Alex watched him. He was holding his breathe hoping Michael would change his mind and not leave and it looks like he got his wish. Michael called out to him, eyes still closed.

"Alex. What do you want from me? I'm here aren't I?"

Alex smiled then crept up behind Michael putting his arms around his waist.

"Yes, you're here but, I need a little bit more than your presence."

Alex kissed the back of his neck, his breathe ghosting across him leaving goose bumps in their wake.

"I need you to want to be here." *kiss*

"...to want to be with me. *kiss*

" ...to never leave me again. *kiss*

Michael couldn't stop the flood of emotions that poured through him. Every kiss sent shivers down his spine. He knew from that moment on, he was where he was meant to be. He turned around and sealed the deal with a scorching kiss of his on. No more searching, no more wondering, no more puzzles or riddles to solve. Alex was the answer to all he'd ever searched for, and he wasn't going to waste anymore time without him.


End file.
